What to write?

Written by Ronaldodonut

Day after day have passed, and now it's just hours before I am to publish my newest issue. I have nothing written aside from this, and I still have no idea what to write. I would've just canned this issue but I can't since my co-editor Jagged007 has already written his share of stuff.

I asked around for suggestions, and Mike suggested I do this.


They're not bad ideas, but would you guys really care? Most of you residing in England; would a piece about a city on the other side of the world really interest you guys? I doubt it.

It's not that NYC isn't interesting. To me, it's the greatest city in the world. Never a dark moment, millions of lights powering on as the sun sets. There always people of every ethnicity walking the city streets among each other, performers littering each street corner to make a few extra bucks, and buildings meeting the clouds in NYC. That's why I love it. But writing about it to you guys, I doubt you guys would. Why is that?

It's certainly understandable for my interests to not touch yours. With the Olympics long past, I doubt I would want to read a piece about England myself. Is that just how we are as people? Do we simply not care about things we feel will never affect us, things that will never play a part in our lives? I would assume so. It would be a great explanation for the lack of empathy for the atrocities going on in third world countries. Wide spread hunger, disease, war, it doesn't affect me.

Of course that's just me. It would be criminal for me to place my assumptions onto each and everyone of you, but let's just assume it's right. Is that a bad thing? Should we as human beings care more for each other?

Too deep

Of course as a guy who didn't even graduate high school yet, I'm unqualified to answer that question. The obvious answer is yes, but there are many more philosophical layers beyond the surface.

Second part of Mike's suggestion. My experience with Gangster Nation. What can I say? It doesn't rivet or excite me like a rollercoaster or a conversation with a supermodel would, but it's still nice. The people on here, the names I see on the screen have became a part of my life almost.

I know my homebody Jagged is good for at least a quarter-dozen misspelled comical messages in my inbox everytime I log in. I know Mike is good for at least one sassy remark in every conversation in the chatbox. I know Fish will be sure to hit me up with proofreading every single one of his collegiate neuro-physics essays once a month. That's what Gangster Nation has became to me really. A sort of make shift online family who's traits and actions I can see through the screen. Objectively, I don't really think the game is that great with it's stagnated pacing, unbalanced crime variety and inconsistent community interaction, but it still has a special place in my heart.

So there we go. Another times issue hammered. Some spontaneous thoughts combined placed into a combination of 26 characters and punctuation marks. I hope you guys enjoyed it, or at the very least think it's enough to not complain. With the majestic Curran having a whopping 16-10 vote lead on me, it's likely I won't be the editor for quite some time again. But it's been good, nothing to complain about.

And now, we'll have Jagged's part of the times

Gangster Jokes

Written by Ronaldodonut

I saw two really fit bitches at the bus stop earlier, so in a bid to impress them I drove past really slowly with my window down and some gangster rap blaring out.All they did was point and laugh at me. Fuck knows why. I thought I looked really cool in my Ice cream truck.

A rapist, a gangster and a murderer are in the same car...
Who is driving the car?
A police officer!

My gangster wife was insistent that I use her massive bum for shoplifting hats.
So I popped a cap in her ass.

The best joke:

The Disciples was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were 'protecting'. Feeling the heat from the police, they decided to use a deaf-mute person for this job because if he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing.

Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picked up over $40,000 and got greedy and decided to keep the money and stashed it in a safe place.

The Disciples soon realized that their collection was late and sent some of their gangsters after the deaf collector. When the gangsters found the deaf collector and asked him where the money was, the deaf collector couldn't communicate with them. So the mafia guys took the guy to a sign language interpreter.

The Disciples hood said to the interpret

er, "Ask him where the money is."

The interpreter signs, "Where's the money?"

The deaf man replied, "I don't know what you're talking about."

The interpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about".

The gangster pulled out a gun and placed it in the ear of the deaf collector. "NOW, ask him where the money is."

The interpreter signs, "Where is the money?"

The deaf man signed back, "The $40,000 is in a tree stump in Central Park."

The interpreter's eyes lit up and said to the gangster, "He says he still doesn't know what you're talking about and he doesn't think you have the balls to pull the trigger."

Message me your best gangster jokes, if they are funnier than my best one you get 100k$. All jokes will be published unless they are stupid.

Subaru and fish

Written by Ronaldodonut

Subaru had a big day today, he shot twolf20 and then later committed suicide, apparently because he was bored of Gangster Nation (is it even possible to be bored of GN?). Something sounds fishy about his story.
Speaking of fish... He's back after "lol i left to focus on my exams they were important" but this reporter didn't take that line of shark shit. After accusing him of pouting we got this response "me pouting? ? ME!? ? ...ok maybe a little." His new name is Pisces btw.


Written by Ronaldodonut

This was posted by barrack last round and i don't want it forgotten.

Recently I've been made aware that Jagged007 has been getting on some people's nerves. His tendency to joke around on chat has caused him to get blocked by around half the game, and he is generally disliked. But I still have him on my Secret Service staff.

People ask me why.

"Barack, your Secret Service staff is composed of some of the greatest intellectual and social minds that this game has to offer, how in the world did Jagged obtain such a coveted position?"

And I answer.


Pictured: Barack in the middle, Jagged on the right

In 1973, I met Jagged at the Punahou School in Honolulu. Different we were, we didn't really get along at first. He was the same back then, bashful, erratic, and loud. I remember in 1974, our class went on a trip to the Hawaii Humanistic Arts museum. I think that was the day I realized my potential.

We had a sheet of paper you see, there were specific paintings that we had to answer questions on. But on the back of the sheet was blank except for a black box, we had to fill the box with questions that we had. I remember sitting down, staring at a modernistic appeal of a human and aquatic animal's perspective underwater. The fish was in its natural habitat, and the human was not. But you could tell that both life forms were scared of each other.

I remember Jagged sitting down next to me. He squinted as if he couldn't see the painting clearly, then he looked down at my paper. His English wasn't that great at the time, but he still managed to ask me,

What is your deepest fear?

I dropped my pencil, not expecting such a question to be asked. I remember he looked down at the pencil and started to bend down to pick it up. But he stopped midway, and stood back up. He looked me in the eyes and told me to think about it.

And I did. What was my deepest fear?

I guess at first my initial answer was bugs. Then it turned to drowning after a close call at a beach. Then as I aged, my fears because more about me. I was scared my grades wouldn't be good enough. I was scared that maybe I wasn't as good as getting girls as some of the other guys. I was scared that I would embarrass myself in front of the more athletic guys during gym class.

After grade school, I didn't see much of Jagged. I lived the life that is written about in the wikipedia pages, the history books. It wasn't until one of the larger speeches during my first presidential campaign did I see Jagged again. He looked different.

It's hard to fully describe Jagged yet again. But I guess he was the person I was afraid I couldn't be while growing up. He had the grades and I sometimes lacked. He had all the girls around him, and he dominated the beach volleyball court. But here he was right in front of me. Clapping. Big smile on his face. But wrinkles and scars on his face, and ragged clothing.

I talked to him after that speech, and we became close friends yet again. When I became president of the United States, he was there. Right before my inauguration speech, he went up to me and asked that same question that he did 34 years ago.

Barack, what is your deepest fear?

And this time, I knew the answer.

"My deepest fear is not that I am an inadequate person. My deepest fear is that I am powerful beyond measure. It is my light, not my darkness that most frightens me. I do not serve the world when I play small. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around me. I am meant to shine as children do. It's not just in me; it is in everyone. And as I let my own lights shine, I unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As I am liberated from my own fear, my presence automatically liberates others."

When I was done with my answer, Jagged had tears in his eyes. I became the man that Jagged was afraid to become. But I couldn't have done it without him.

And that is why Jagged007 is on my secret service team, and why he is the damn finest member on it.

Respect Greatness

..Makes me tear up everytime...


Written by Ronaldodonut