The Return of the Kings

Written by Ronaldodonut

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Note: Unfortunately this issue will not contain any Pulitzer level works of writing, or any pie charts due to the lack of news this past week, and the time available for this issue. But worry not, future issues will.

OMG

Written by Ronaldodonut

I, DrFish, have managed to wriggle my way into Panthers Elite.
Nobody is sure how I did it but there has been a lot of speculation that I hacked the accounts of one the the higher members.

I would like to confirm that this is not true, but that I am indeed excellent at this game and they would be mad not to have me here.

Shoutouts

Written by Ronaldodonut


"Daddybird is looking for a knitting partner" - Anon

"EliteRobin watch out" - Anon

"im guna dick faith" - Omie

Mike Strikes Again

Written by Ronaldodonut

Glad to see Mike is in the Christmas mood with the addition of the new "find the santa game" function. It's pretty cool, click a Santa Claus when it appears, and you get free stuff!

However I personally have only been able to find and click on one Santa Claus so far, and I've received coal.

I guess it varies for each user.

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PHX believes

PHX's Poem

Written by Ronaldodonut

Ho ho fucking ho, what a crock of shit
We all work for Santa Claus, we've had enough, we quit
'Cause we do all the fucking work while he stars in the show
Stick ya christmas up your arse, ho ho fucking ho.

I'm Rudolph and I quit, just who's he think he is,
That little fat cunt's at back in the sleigh, cracking that fucking whip
And me stuck up the front with these other useless cunts
Stick ya christmas up your arse, ho ho fucking ho.

Ho ho fucking ho, what a crock of shit
We all work for Santa Claus, we've had enough, we quit
'Cause we do all the fucking work while he stars in the show
Stick ya christmas up your arse, ho ho fucking ho.

And what about us elves, we've had enough as well.
Working in that freezing factory cold as fucking hell
Working till we drop, with our bollocks brazing off.
Stick ya christmas up your arse, ho ho fucking ho.

Ho ho fucking ho, what a crock of shit
We all work for Santa Claus, we've had enough, we quit
'Cause we do all the fucking work while he stars in the show
Stick ya christmas up your arse, ho ho fucking ho.

I'm Santa Claus' wife, I know what he's really like
Sneaking into them little kids rooms he's a fucking pedophile.
A devious old drunk and I'm married to the cunt.
So stick ya christmas your arse, ho ho fucking ho.

Ho ho fucking ho, what a crock of shit
We all work for Santa Claus, we've had enough, we quit
'Cause we do all the fucking work while he stars in the show
Stick ya christmas up your arse, ho ho fucking ho.

Merry Christmas

Guess the Gangster

Written by Ronaldodonut

For this weeks edition of Guess the Gangster, we have a particularly handsome chap.

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The rules are simple.

The first person to correctly message the times editor with the name of this Gangster will win 2,500 bullets.


Good luck.

Liam Neeson

Written by Ronaldodonut

A little something for the Liam Neeson fans ?




And also, if you need somebody found and killed, BarackObama knows the person to do it. Message him today for more details
(It's not Liam Neeson, sorry)

An Elegant Victory

Written by Ronaldodonut

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Amir Khan is back on top

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/boxing/20745393

I'm excited for Christmas

Written by Ronaldodonut


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He isn't however.
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And here's a nice Christmas pic

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