Competition Time!

Written by Unknown


Latest News

Written by Unknown

It seems not alot has happened since the last times but there have been a few notable events. First is that Rainbow has given up on the dream of running a family and has decided to drop it and go solo instead. Secondly is that it didn't take long for another family to be created, the family is called Liberation. The family is run by JokerKDF who is the boss and Avenged who is the under-boss. The family have had a good start with 5 members and 3 family points on there first day!

There have been 2 notable deaths since the last issue, The first being FatJoe has decided to end the life of his character and commit suicide. The second was that Davy2012 (who turned out to be Faith from last round which was the guy who stole D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F's family bank) was duping and was admin killed, before being killed he apparently stole Boondock Saints family bank, must be a fetish.

Competition Time!

Written by Unknown

Ok, so in the last times issue i did some anongrams of player usernames and all of you found it easy with Rhythm winning in under 10 minutes. So this time im gunna do some more and make them harder!

Same rules apply! No capital letters! All in top 100 players @ 21:00 - 11th December

1. amrepn

2. egitsve

3. otgalve

4. tseadesi

5. ncive

6. ontbtu

7. dkojrefk

8. mtuausahm

9. ieadnl

10. tanirchamee

All you need to do to win is send me a message with all 10 answers and if your the first person to guess all of them correctly you will win $2,000,000 and a fully tuned Supercar!

General News

Written by Unknown

Here are some of the biggest fails to ever grace a newspaper:

1. A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other’s head.

2. A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film’s depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.

3. The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.

4. Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

5. A convict broke out of jail in Washington D.C., then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.

6. Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message “He’s lying” was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn’t telling the truth. Believing the “lie detector” was working, the suspect confessed.

7. When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.

8. A fierce gust of wind blew 45-year-old Vittorio Luise’s car into a river near Naples, Italy, in 1983. He managed to break a window, climb out and swim to shore — where a tree blew over and killed him.

9. Walter Hallas, a 26-year-old store clerk in Leeds, England, was so afraid of dentists that in 1979 he asked a fellow worker to try to cure his toothache by punching him in the jaw. The punch caused Hallas to fall down, hitting his head, and he died of a fractured skull.

10. Two West German motorists had an all-too-literal head-on collision in heavy fog near the small town of Guetersloh. Each was guiding his car at a snail’s pace near the center of the road. At the moment of impact their heads were both out of the windows when they smacked together. Both men were hospitalized with severe head injuries. Their cars weren’t scratched.

11. George Schwartz, owner of a factory in Providence, R.I., narrowly escaped death when a 1983 blast flattened his factory except for one wall. After treatment for minor injuries, he returned to the scene to search for files. The remaining wall then collapsed on him, killing him.

12. Depressed since he could not find a job, 42-year-old Romolo Ribolla, in 1981, sat in his kitchen near Pisa, Italy, with a gun in his hand threatening to kill himself. His wife pleaded for him not to do it, and after about an hour he burst into tears and threw the gun to the floor. It went off and killed his wife.

13. In 1983, a Mrs. Carson of Lake Kushaqua, N.Y., was laid out in her coffin, presumed dead of heart disease. As mourners watched, she suddenly sat up. Her daughter dropped dead of fright.

14. A man hit by a car in New York in 1977 got up uninjured, but laid back down in front of the car when a bystander told him to pretend he was hurt so he could collect insurance money. The car rolled forward and crushed him to death.

15. Surprised while burgling a house in Antwerp, Belgium, a thief fled out the back door, clambered over a nine-foot wall, dropped down and found himself in the city prison.

16. Hitting on the novel idea that he could end his wife’s incessant nagging by giving her a good scare, Hungarian Jake Fen built an elaborate harness to make it look as if he had hanged himself. When his wife came home and saw him she fainted. Hearing a disturbance a neighbor came over and, finding what she thought were two corpses, seized the opportunity to loot the place. As she was leaving the room, her arms laden, the outraged and suspended Mr. Fen kicked her stoutly in the backside. This so surprised the lady that she dropped dead of a heart attack. Happily, Mr. Fen was acquitted of manslaughter and he and his wife were reconciled.

The Mario Ballotelli Story

Written by Unknown

Mario’s Top 20 Moments: (in no particular order)

1. The "bib" saga.

2. The Italian's car has been impounded 27 times. Seems absurd yet plausible in equal measures.

3. Speaking of car troubles, he reportedly had a £120,000 Audi imported only to write it off within a week.

4. Speaking of even more car troubles, he has coughed up more than £10,000 in parking fines.

5. In one of his flash cars, he drove into a women's prison because he wanted to "look around".

6. £300,000 fine for throwing darts at the youth team.
Won £25,000 in a casino and promptly gave £1,000 to a tramp outside the casino.

7. Threw tomatoes at a Serie A manager.

8. Sent to the shops by his mother to buy essentials for the house, came back with a giant trampoline, a Vespa and a Scalectrix.

9. Has been involved in fights at training with Kompany, Boateng, Tevez and Richards.

10. Went on TV wearing an AC Milan shirt with his name on the back while playing for Inter.

11. After the cup final on live TV, he says: " I have been sh*t this season, am I allowed say sh*t on TV?

12. Was stopped by police going around his hometown of Hulme with £25,000 cash in the passenger seat. When asked why, he replied: "Because I'm rich".

13. Adopted a stray cat that kept on turing up at the Manchester City training ground.

14. Had to be physically hauled away by Javier Zanetti for refusing to let Samuel Eto'o take a penalty that he had earned.

15. Brought his iPad on to the bench for Italy's international against the Faroe Islands because he wanted to play games on it.

16. Had his friend approach girls in a nightclub and say: "Balotelli will see you now."

17. Became the face of a firework safety campaign a few days after setting his house on fire from letting off fireworks indoors.

18. Handed out £50 notes to strangers when out shopping in Manchester.
Italy had just brought out a brand new home kit, at the start of the second half for their first match wearing the new kit, Balotelli came out in the old kit, claiming he didn't like the new one. As you do.


50 Fun Facts

Written by Unknown

1. Most soccer players run 7 miles in a game.

2. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot.

3. Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound.

4. It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it.

5. When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red.

6. Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die.

7. Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart.

8. Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.

9. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

10. The Boeing 747 is capable of flying upside-down if it weren’t for the fact that the wings would shear off when trying to roll it over.

11. Never hold your nose and cover your mouth when sneezing, as it can blow out your eyeballs.

12. The world’s smartest pig, owned by a mathematics teacher in Madison, WI, memorized the multiplication tables up to 12.

13. In ancient Greece, children of wealthy families were dipped in olive oil at birth to keep them hairless throughout their lives.

14. Every Labrador retriever dreams about bananas once in a while.

15. Approximately one-sixth of your life is spent on Wednesdays.

16. You can actually sharpen the blades on a pencil sharpener by wrapping your pencils in aluminum foil before inserting them.

17. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

18. 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.

19. 123,000,000 cars are being driven down the U.S’s highways.

20. 160 cars can drive side by side on the Monumental Axis in Brazil, the world’s widest road.

21. A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off.

22. A company in Taiwan makes dinnerware out of wheat, so you can eat your plate.

23. A cow produces 200 times more gas a day than a person.

24. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

25. A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.

26. A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue.

27. A giraffe can go without water longer than a camel can.

28. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

29. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

30. A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn’t give her coffee.

31. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

32. A quarter has 119 grooves on its edge, a dime has one less groove.

33. A whale’s penis is called a dork.

34. America once issued a 5-cent bill.

35. An iguana can stay under water for 28 minutes.

36. An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

37. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

38. Ben and Jerry’s send the waste from making ice cream to local pig farmers to use as feed. Pigs love the stuff, except for one flavor: Mint Oreo.

39. Dolphins sleep with one eye open.

40. Hershey’s Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it’s kissing the conveyor belt.

41. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

42. If you toss a penny 10,000 times, it will not be heads 5,000 times, but more like 4,950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom.

43. In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

44. It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. (Don’t try this at home!)

45. More Monopoly money is printed in a year, than real money printed throughout the world.

46. More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes.

47. More people use blue toothbrushes, than red ones.

48. Mosquitoes have teeth.

49. Most Americans’ car horns beep in the key of F.

50. Most cows give more milk when they listen to music.

Video Of The Issue

Written by Unknown

The video for this issue is: Boris Johnson For England

Yes, that is the real Boris Johnson!

Thank You

Written by Unknown

Would like to say thank you to everyone who voted for me

If you think you could have an input and have an idea for an article in the times message me and we can discuss it!

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