What happens when you shoot Obama?

Written by Ronaldodonut

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So what happens when you shoot Obama?


ABSOLUTELY NOTHING THAT'S WHAT


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BEEF

Written by Ronaldodonut

The featured chat altercation of the week

It all started with styles making a request, and Jonathan commenting


[01:10:25 AM] <Styles> Someone help me lose some money and play me at RPS 1,00000 stake

01:11:08 AM] <Jonathan> ask ur dupe


Lowkey proceeds to take a shot at the pair, angering Styles


[01:11:55 AM] <lowkey> lool
[01:11:59 AM] <lowkey> them 2 are weird
[01:12:01 AM] <lowkey> gaybiys
[01:12:05 AM] <lowkey> gayboys


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Now here's where it gets interesting. It seems Over has been gambling with Styles, and Styles has recently won.

[01:12:10 AM] <Over> loool
[01:12:38 AM] <Over> You revealed Scissors and Styles revealed Rock. You lost the game, losing your $1,000,000 wager.
[01:12:41 AM] <Over> ur now 1m +


One million, not too shabby. Styles responds to lowkey and Over.

[01:13:27 AM] <Styles> Good one! Haven't called someone a gayboy since I was 13
[01:13:36 AM] <Styles> And cheers Over son

Suprisingly, we see Over respond negatively to these comments as opposed to Lowkey.

[01:13:41 AM] <Over> Son?
[01:13:44 AM] <Over> i aint your son lmao
[01:13:55 AM] <Styles> You are
[01:14:01 AM] <Over> you know what i think
[01:14:03 AM] <Over> alt n f4
[01:14:08 AM] <Over> good page there

Note- Alt F4 is not a good page


Now here is where it gets real. Styles throws out the extremely original, "you have no life" line.

[01:14:51 AM] <Styles> You know what I think over? You're a fucking loser getting to level 35 on this game, you're social life must be incredible.
[01:14:59 AM] <Over> are you jealous?
[01:15:03 AM] <Over> that you cant do it lmao
[01:15:41 AM] <Styles> I'm jealous you don't have a social life and spend most of your time alone on a computer.... hmmmmmm?!
[01:15:48 AM] <Over> You cant talk
[01:15:54 AM] <Over> your spending 2hours online here talking with us
[01:16:31 AM] <Styles> 2 hours... compared to how many you spend, actually gives me the right to talk, thanks

Lowkey re-enters the conversation.


[01:16:40 AM] <lowkey> styles what you been up to today?
[01:16:41 AM] <Over> But who are you?
[01:16:46 AM] <Over> your a nobody
[01:16:52 AM] <Over> that gives you no right to speak
[01:16:54 AM] <Over> lmao


TomJones now enters the conversation, making it even more serious.

[01:17:25 AM] <TomJonesy> [01:16:46 AM] <Over> your a nobody [01:16:41 AM] <Over> But who are you?
[01:17:30 AM] <TomJonesy> What makes him a nobody?

And then Styles proceeds to style over everybody

[01:17:33 AM] <Styles> Lowkey, I've been university, football and the gym, been an alright day.... thanks
[01:17:46 AM] <Over> tom, why you gotta feel the need to question everythnig?
[01:17:49 AM] <Over> everything*
[01:17:53 AM] <lowkey> Hennoooo what you benching, what you studying?
[01:18:02 AM] <TomJonesy> I've asked one question all day
[01:18:06 AM] <Over> makes a change
[01:18:32 AM] <Over> He's a nobody because i said so
[01:18:36 AM] <Over> that good enough?
[01:18:37 AM] <Styles> Lowkey are you taking the piss or actually want to know?
[01:18:57 AM] <lowkey> Yeh i want to know cause i go gym but im ill atm
[01:19:08 AM] <TomJonesy> This game has gone to your head lol, you call him a nobody because he's a low rank
[01:19:35 AM] <Over> I say what i want just like everyone else on here
[01:19:43 AM] <Styles> Fair dues, I'm studying Coaching and Sport Development and bench 70K for 10 reps, trying to move up. Yourself?


Lowkey does not respond to the question. I'm guessing he doesn't lift.

Nobody else bothered to respond after that devastating showcase of physical supremacy. Or maybe I just stopped copying the argument after that. 8)

Apples and Oranges

Written by Ronaldodonut

ShootMoreLad responded to a request for GN news, and he delivered.

Warning, might blow your mind.


[10:56:32 PM] <Obama> excellent, what do you have
[10:56:41 PM] <ShootMoreLad> oranges are orange
[10:56:43 PM] <ShootMoreLad> how wierd
[10:56:49 PM] <ShootMoreLad> cause apples are green
[10:56:54 PM] <ShootMoreLad> not apple colored
[10:57:01 PM] <Obama> holy shit
10:57:01 PM] <ShootMoreLad> i think we shouldd graph this
[10:57:12 PM] <ShootMoreLad> shit will hit the fan mate

Note: Some apples are red and yellow as well, but that doesn't matter.


CHARTS


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-Note the lack of an apple colored option. Also note that apples are very self conscious about their colors

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Is the Lotto Rigged?

Written by Ronaldodonut

Earlier this week, we received an anonymous tip that the lotto is infact rigged. It is the reason for the delay of today's issue, the time's editing crew has spent the last few days studying the Gangster Nation lotto system. And we have found out, that yes, the lotto is rigged!

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Note that while 51%-70% and 70%-100% options are significantly lower than the 31%-50% option, it is only because of the rarity of such enormous amount of tickets purchased.

What does this mean?

CLEARLY, the Lotto is rigged in favor of people who buy more tickets.

Utterly morally reprehensible.

Shame on you Mike, shame on you.