Competition Winner: Issue #34

Written by Mercury

So I had a competition in the last issue and it was for you to guess my middle name.

The correct answer was Colin.

I had a lot of people messaging me with multiple answers, but only 2 players guessed it correctly, 1 of these were then picked at random.

That person would be Minko! Congratulations! Your prize of 25,000 bullets will be sent to you and you will receive my mentors for 7 days.

Welcome to another issue of The Times

Written by Mercury

Here I am with another issue once again, this time we have a nice little contribution by Infidel - Make sure you check it out as there are credits up for grabs!

Nothing has really happened in like 5 or 6 days on GN, there's been 1 or 2 kills and that's about it so nothing to report on.

An announcement for you all by Mike, it will be double points weekend soon!

Here's the info from Facebook:

Special early news just for our Facebook fans: Double Points weekend coming soon!

Day 99 at 8 PM game time until Day 101 at 8 PM game time. That's Friday 19th until Sunday 21st October.

A new feature called Boxing Gym has also arrived, read about it in the forums/Blog post for more information.

Also, I stumbled upon this in chat. It's Rhys (RaG) singing Barbie Girl.


Guess the Transvestite Gangster

Written by Mercury

We've all seen guess the gangster so I thought I'd give it a go but put a slight twist to it. So today we have Guess the Transvestite Gangster, all you have to do is, well, guess who the pretty little gangsters are and message me with your answers (1 guess per person per picture), it's that simple. First to message with a correct answer wins!

Guess who this loveable rogue is for 1 credit


That was easy wasn't it...Well here's another one, who is this cheeky chap for 2 credits


Third and final one, this ones for 3 credits, who is this lovely lass


That's it for this issue, if you would like to see Guess the Transvestite Gangster in the next issue of the times please send me some pictures along with their Gangster name...Thanks, good night, god bless and do one.

Competition Time

Written by Mercury

As well as Infidel doing a competition, I will also be doing one once again. I will try to make these possible in every issue of The Times.

This time it's a little different than my last one, the winning prize is $1,000,000.

Below is a picture of a car, but not the whole thing. You need to guess what car it is.

To enter, simply send your answer and only one, to my inbox.


Rules: Only one guess per player, each person to get it correct will win $1,000,000. Winners will be announced in the next issue.

A short interview with Reaction

Written by Mercury

Interview time, this time with Reaction or Instinct as you all may know him by.

So, thank you for your time and doing an interview with us, I won't keep you too long! ?

Mercury: So Reaction, how are you today?

Reaction: Hi there mike, I'm not too bad thank you just chilling.

Mercury: Good to hear, so first off, What do you think of the round so far, have you enjoyed it?

Reaction: The round isn't too bad but tbh with you it's quite a boring round, but hopefully near the end it will get better.

Mercury: I'm hoping that too, What are your goals for this round?

Reaction: My goal was to reach level 50 this round and I done that, so don't really have any other goals.

Mercury: Tell me your views on the ranking system, do you think it's a little too easy for some?

Reaction: It depends on how you look it at tbh, if people buy mentors of course they are going to find it easy, but if you don't buy mentors and rank by yourself, some people may find it takes quite a bit longer, but in my opinion the ranking is easy to level up.

Mercury: Good answer, Who would you say has been the best player so far in the round, in terms of kills/ranking etc..

Reaction: Erm I wouldn't like to say tbh as there are quite a few people I could name but if I should say anyone at this time it would be Beth as I've noticed she's got quite a few kills on each of her accounts she made after only a few days.

Mercury: Would you ever start up your own family in the future?

Reaction: I have never given it a thought to start up my own family as I don't have the time and patience to run a family lol

Mercury: Good point, it can be hard work.. lastly, random question, what's your favourite colour?

Reaction: Blue

Well that's all I have time for today, many thanks for your time ?

Funny Chat Moments

Written by Mercury

Some funny comments made in chat recently, a few of them are old that I have had saved.

[05:09:03 AM] <PussyPHX> anyone plz sell me some sheep bullets


[10:53:51 AM] <Infidel> :lol:
[10:53:43 AM] <PHX> u aint making me like u with a mentor micky u bastard
[10:53:37 AM] <Infidel> You need an engine on ya zimma
[10:53:23 AM] <Infidel> :lol:
[10:53:20 AM] <PHX> WALKING ffs
[10:53:12 AM] <Mercury> lool
[10:53:07 AM] <PHX> in the rain
[10:53:04 AM] <Infidel> Put that in the times, asking ppl to send pics of there coffee
[10:53:03 AM] <PHX> im going shop
[10:52:55 AM] <PHX> ?
[10:52:48 AM] <Mercury> Had to be done 
[10:52:35 AM] <Mercury> :lol:
[10:52:30 AM] <PHX> dont like u no more
[10:52:27 AM] <Mercury> :lol:
[10:52:24 AM] <Infidel> :lol:
[10:52:23 AM] <PHX> piss off
[10:52:20 AM] <Mercury> Oh wait..
[10:52:18 AM] <Mercury> How's yours phx?
[10:52:10 AM] <Infidel> Aromatic to say the least
[10:51:55 AM] <Mercury> Nice this coffee, how's yours ry?
[10:51:32 AM] <Mercury> :lol:
[10:51:25 AM] <Infidel> :lol:
[10:51:20 AM] <PHX> bastards both of u ?
[10:51:10 AM] <Infidel> sorry, was making a coffee
[10:50:25 AM] <PHX> get on ur bmx bring me some pls
[10:50:16 AM] <Mercury> brb while I go make a coffee 8)
[10:50:10 AM] <PHX> ry
[10:50:07 AM] <PHX> bitch
[10:50:03 AM] <Infidel> :lol:
[10:50:01 AM] <Mercury> I've got loads 
[10:49:58 AM] <PHX> gotta walk in the rain
[10:49:56 AM] <Infidel> HOLY MAKREL
[10:49:48 AM] <Infidel> NO COFFEE
[10:49:47 AM] <PHX> no car
[10:49:46 AM] <Mercury> OH NOEZ
[10:49:44 AM] <Infidel> WHAT
[10:49:43 AM] <PHX> raining
[10:49:39 AM] <PHX> no coffee
[10:49:33 AM] <PHX> major disaster
[10:49:26 AM] <PHX> ut oh


[10:10:41 PM] <implementer> is canada like the biggest place in america ??


[07:33:31 PM] <pipenasty> drop dead
[07:33:28 PM] <ChoKe> u owe me 925kpp bro
[07:33:23 PM] <ChoKe> yo pipenasty


[07:55:43 PM] <DrFish> :lol:
[07:55:35 PM] <ChoKe> I hope this isn't an attempt at being funny ?
[07:55:24 PM] <PussyPHX> from u
[07:55:22 PM] <PussyPHX> who are you pussyPHX?
[07:55:14 PM] <ChoKe> what?
[07:55:14 PM] <Mercury> :lol:
[07:55:07 PM] <PussyPHX> ?
[07:55:06 PM] <PussyPHX> haha why did u say Pussy to Phx?
[07:55:04 PM] <didi> is he?
[07:54:55 PM] <Kitty> theknightt
[07:54:50 PM] <ChoKe> who are you pussyPHX?


[02:01:37 AM] <TomJones> I WONDER WHY
[02:01:34 AM] <TomJones> she thought they looked the same
[02:00:39 AM] <TomJones> Terri just said she found out the other day that will smith is the ACTUAL will smith from fresh prince of bel air



Written by Mercury


I was thinking of a few sayings ive used in the past to descrobe some of the lasses ive woken up next to or pulled on a night out and i thought i would stick some in here and see if you could give me a few of your here goes

Pulled a heavy duty monster last night down the boozer.

Fuck me she looked like she'd been ducking for apples in a chip pan..
Had more hands up her than Sooty...

Been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe..

Got a face that could make an onion cry...

So big I couldn't ride her into battle...

Seen more japs eyes than an oriental optician...

A face like a stuntmans knee...

A fanny like a yawning donkey...

So ugly not even a sniper would take her out...

Been shot over more times than Sarejevo...

Has a pair of piss flaps like a gutted trout...

Been cocked more times than Elmer Fudd's shotgun...

An arse like a bag of spanners...

A belly bigger than Santa Claus...

Theres a few i could think of, feel free to send some on of your own and i will put them in the next issue

Guys, help me get my money back

Written by Mercury

Here I have a player submitted article by our gangster friend ChoKe, looks like he's trying to stop scamming on GN. Let me know your thoughts.

Here's what he had to say:

Hi everyone pipenasty owes me 925k for a mentor that I gave him and he keeps ignoring me like when I msg him and I c him talking on chat and that so anyone who sends him a msg asking him 2 pay up and print screens and sends me it gets 50k. Imaginative ones get 75k. Serious. Lets stop scamming on GN yeah.

One for the ladies

Written by Mercury


How to Iron Shirts

Start the process by ironing the collar. Stretch the back of it across the flat surface of the board. Run the iron over the back of the collar several times until you are sure it is correctly pressed. Turn the shirt over and handle the front of the collar.

Move to the sleeves of the garment. You need to be sure to iron the back of the sleeves first, then move to the front of the sleeves. Start by stretching the larger part of the sleeves across the point of the ironing board. Iron all the way around the back of the sleeves, then move it toward the sleeve front until you have ironed the circumference of the sleeve. Stretch the lower back of the sleeve across the large, flat surface of the ironing board. Iron toward the cuffs. Flip the shirt over and do the front, making sure to take careful, short strokes.

When you get ready to handle the rest of the shirt, lay it as flat as possible on the ironing board. Work from one side to the other slowly smoothing out the wrinkled spots as you go.

Hang the shirt directly after you finish ironing. Be sure to button the top and center buttons.

How to Iron Dresses

Begin by stretching the skirt portion of the dress across the point of the ironing board. If you are working with pleats, start at the bottom and work toward the top. Work your way around the skirt with strong, fast strokes.

If the top of the dress won't stretch across the point of the ironing board, smooth it as flat as possible across the large, flat surface of the board. Start with the back and work your way to the front. On each side, be sure to work from the top down.

Hang the dress as soon as possible after you iron it. Try not to wear the garment for a few hours, as it will be more prone to wrinkling again once you've heated the fibers.

How to Iron Pants

Turn the pants inside out. Begin with the top. Iron the circumference of the waistband. Move toward the pockets. Be sure to iron both sides of the pockets. Iron the fly, then the seams of the pants, then the hems. Follow that order carefully, and use smooth, quick strokes.

Turn the pants so the correct side is facing out. hook the waistline of the pants around the arrow shaped edge of the board. Use the iron to press out the wrinkles of the top front part of your pants.

Put the pants legs parallel to the board, with both of them headed in the same direction. Iron each leg without damaging the current creases.

Iron the cuffs, and hang the pants.

Thank you

Written by Mercury

Well that's it for this issue, hope you enjoyed it!

Don't forget, if there is anything at all you would like to be added for the next issue then simply message one of the editors and we'll be sure to get that in for you.

My next competition will include a really big prize ?