Welcome to the times with me, TomJones!

Written by TomJones

As you all should know, I'm TomJones, your resident #1 guy. You may have seen me in chat giving words of wisdom or selling perfectly priced mentors. This is my first times for a few years and with there being a lack of content, I've made what I can alongside my lovely contributors. What I can aim to do, if nothing has happened I can just do a weekly round up, few articles but I need your help! If anybody has anything they want included into the times, as long as it's reasonable I'm sure I can get it included.

Duck Land

Written by KingDuck

Welcome to DuckLand lead by yours truly KingDuck. Everyone is welcomed to become one of my children in this magical land (besides Reagan of course). Anyways since Rob and Steve or Unstable Moose and Delusional Eagle have stepped down from leading reds. I took it upon myself KingDuck (remember the name) to lead reds into a new era. Reds will know be known as Duck's Children as soon as Mj makes me boss.

Okay now that I'm done rambling about my bullshit everyone pm how's your day (even though I really dont care) thought that counts right? Anyways enjoy my next section cause the rest of them are shit

Davies Dirty Corner

Written by Reagan

let me introduce myself; my government name is David but people just call me Davie
I Am Currently Top 5 GN Players All Time
Best RPS Bribe Stealer
Best BFW'er All Time
(there are more but im sure all the womens panties are soaked)
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My first article, its wild, gonna start out with some quotes from your fellow GN players:
KingDuck:"Ill suck yo dick sideways"
TwoFaced:"If your going to shoot overshoot u rather have ur life then die with alot of bullets think about it"
BG:"Buying mentors 25kpp"
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Now, id like to give a update on top 5 fams (of course coming from my unbias perspective)

1.) Eagles Garden - literal gods

2.) Sanctuary - SHIT

3.) CAMORRA - SHIT

4.) FIORE - SHIT

5.) Os Lusitanos - SHIT
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Now for my next segment, lets look at this weeks top 5 (accurate as of 3/25/18) highest rankers! (unbias of course)

1.) Liesje - 551 Doing the color red proud
2.) Maid - 542 Goddess among peasants
3.) TomJones - 308 <3 NO CAP NEEDED
4.) MorteNera - 260 Man the reds are doing real good this week
5.) Chris - 202 Basic name but exemplary numbers, keep it up!
============================================================================= For my next and unfortunately final segment, lets all gather around the campfire and share some stories! Ill start: "Legend has it that, Davie has never lost more than 100 prison bribes? Dont believe it? Ask Morte and TomJones, they should know the truth, but get angry when asked about it, especially tom, whiney lil thing that is"
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and that concludes my first article in The Times? Did you like my completely unbias point of view on facts? PM me your personal opinion and ill be sure to consider it next time!

this has been
Davies Dirty Corner
-Davie

Obituary and Suicides

Written by Nooodles

Obituary:

First and foremost I'd like to give a warm RIP to Dylan's dog. Nothing and no one deserves to die that much. Alright, moving on.

RIP to all the fallen gangsters that have died this past week.

KillGore Level 14

Editor's words: But does anyone really give a shit about this one?

BootyManOG Level 23

BigDick Level 30

LoCo1 Level 30

OhMIghty Level 13

StarBurst Level 37

grimmutt Level 38

ColdKevin Level 19

GrimLock Level 39

DMI Level 28

KingToker Level 38

WeThepeople Level 20

Sugar Level 38

Another week, another wipe for RHEC...

Will it ever stop?
Yo, I don't know
Turn off the lights and I'll glow
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle

Suicides:

Lately there has been an influx of suicides. If you or a loved one is feeling suicidal please don't hesitate to CS. But send me all your stuff first.

Guess the Gangster

Written by KingDuck

Okay so how this is going to work I will be listing 3 things about 3 different gangsters. Now this being the first time I went for 3 simple things. What round did the gangster start in, how tall they are, and their age. The person that can correctly answer who all 3 gangsters are willing receive a prize of idk 5k bullets i guess. If multiple people get all 3 right I'll pick whoever answered first as the winner. Now let's begin

1. This gangster started in round 5, is 6'3 but 6'5 on tinder, and is 24

2.

Classifieds

Written by Nooodles

For all your car needs please hit up Dylan's car lot. By the time this is posted he may be dead. But fear not, he'll show up in the main chat ready to serve you a nice car.

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Reebz will be doing a special all week. 2 creds, 1 nude. Please feel free to message her any time. Just mention Nooodles to get a 50% discount.

Insane Main

Written by MaryJane

This was my gem of the week :)

09:24pmOrphan
i'd fuck nanny mcphee after a bottle
09:24pmOrphan
you clearly underestimate the power of vodka

Sent In by Happy77
best emo after kill (dunno which round it was

):"die in a fire grease ball you mincy faggot ball
09:22pmBestman


11:54pmTomJones
hahah
11:54pmChris
Ostrich
11:54pmTomJones
What language do people from Austria speak

Editors final say.

Written by TomJones

Just wanted to say thanks to those that voted for , thanks for Nooodles for dropping out and most of all thank you for reading. If you like what you see, vote for me again and i'll see what fun we can have in the next times!
- Tom Jones.