Double Bark Box Issue

Written by JoeyJay

The Times and GNTV with JoeyJay an Cinna


Written by JoeyJay

Cinna's Bark Box

Written by Cinna

Welcome back to the BarkBox! Make sure you grab some kibble and get ready for some entertainment as this issue of the Times catches you up on GN’s greatest drama as it occurs. Although you typically read this after it occurs.

I’m not going to go into much detail about the fall of Westside Crips (Did they ever rise?) because I’m sure Joey will discuss much of that at some point this week. However I will mention that during this dramatic battle, Sammiee of BadBoyz made one kill and then died in bf going for the second. She retuned as Sammiiee (creative), but couldn’t live with the embarrassment and promptly committed suicide.

Fuzzypuppy tried to make it to rank 50, but he did not buy a level 40 pass from KingEagle. Unfortunately for him, the 40 pass was needed from KingEagle to be able to live after level 40. Therefore, Focus cornered him and swiftly ended his life, reminding him to pay his dues next time. Although he had a pass, being 50 was too much stress for Zeus from Genesis, and unfortunately he took his own life.
Prometheus died in Wally's backfire. And that is hilarious enough on its own. He shouldn't even come back after that

By the way can we talk about the name of Eagle Enterprises? I'm still going to call it Higher Standards or just red or anything else because wtf is up with this name. I'll try to keep my partner KingEagle in line with this naming business.

So. Stuff going on with New Dominion. Lets break down this shooting pawty.

Apparently Serkaar, boss of Diaspora, was rumored to be shooting Grizz068 from New Dominion. Rumors are basically taken as truth here on GN so as word got out about this, Phelon, the boss of New Dominion, killed Serkaar. This wasn’t seen as a fond move from some, so DrunkEagle, boss of The Saints, cornered Phelon and easily took him down. Angered that his boss was shot, SpinOnThis shot his load at DrunkEagle, who must have shot his load at Phelon. ChimpEagle from EE, sick of all this action when he wants to be in bed by 9pm, then killed SpinOnThis.

SeeTheSky from The Saints was gunned down by the grizzly Grizz068. Some members of EE couldn’t BEAR to see all this violence, so Grizz068 was then killed by Focus from EE. Yet another kill for Focus.

Maniu from New Dominion was then killed, possibly in some form of retaliation, but the kill is currently unrevealed. The word circulating GN is that 100k took him down, although his account was 50 days old with 0 kills. Blaz3 then shot Impression with 14k.

Blackness of EE decided to die in bf to some random person instead of being useful. Useless child of mine.

EIN killed Sinister…who kills Chance? So Chance came back as Surreal, and like an honorable man, claimed life insurance, dropped protection, and killed ReyTheGreat. Surreal was then killed by BlueDragon. LittlerOmie from EE killed EIN, because poor Chance.

KingMutt was killed by KingEagle…There’s only room for one king apparently and winter is coming.

Mrs. D was killed by Ghosts, who was then killed by VitoScaletta from no family...Where did you come from? Loco from New Dominion killed himself as to avoid getting involved. Getlayed was killed by BlueDragon, and Prayerz killed by Harl3yQuinn, dropping The Saints family.

In other news, MiniSpeech committed suicide…because who wouldn’t kill themself if they were a mini Tom Jones.

Lets take a moment to focus on Focus.12 kills and 364 kill points and plenty of energy to go. What do they make this guy out of? Bourbon and poor choices.

JoeyJay's Joke of the day

Written by JoeyJay

Crimson Immortals Boss, Underboss and the VIP's decide to rob a bank. After several days of planning they agree on the best plan. Between Cece the Boss and the UB OdinRises. The next day they get to work and are able to get into the bank relatively easy thanks to their planning.

Once inside the main vault they discover one wall is full of safety deposit boxes and the Vip's Amplify, Ahrii, Indica & AyItsMeYaBoi start to work on them immediately. They drill and pry open the first box only to find a small container of vanilla pudding inside.

Cece the boss gangster says' Okay, well, at least we can eat it.' So they eat the pudding. They drill and pry open up the second safety deposit box and there sits another pudding.

They decide to devour it too. Determined to find the goods, the process continues for the rest of the night until all the safety deposit boxes have been opened. They didn't find any money or jewelry in any of the boxes. Disappointed the Cece said' Well, at least they left something for us to eat.'

The next day, while listening to the news they hear:

' Yesterday the largest sperm bank in the USA was robbed by an unknown group of people' Police decide to take no further Action.

Puppy Love

Written by Cinna

On a lighter note, GN Love is prospering. Lets take a look at some of the budding romances. Shocking, all those asked from my fam said they love themselves.

1. Mike3826472 and LilJ

Dude I am talking to a hot girl she is pretty I am in love at first sight hope she don't see this
whos the girl

2. ChimpEagle and himself

3. EagleStuMan and himself and Cinna

4. Sinister and Katie Leung

5. Speech and Laura/Clunge (They're flirting in main currently)

6. EIN and Stu and Cinna

7. MrsD and Phelon (Phelon had no comment)

8. The Love of Family (Joey is a grandparent)

sports results

Written by JoeyJay

World Gravy Wrestling Championship where men, women and children wrestle in meat juice in UK ended in a bath of baked beans and ketchup.

MOUSE invades Manchester United vs Southampton - but is it the best pitch invader ever? Finally found somone more active on the pitch than Rooney

and finally

Hundreds flock to sleepy village for the British and World MARBLE Championships
A total of 19 teams took part in the championships from America and even Alegria in the event in West Sussex
Organiser Julia McCarthy-Fox Told GNTV: “We have got people who have played for over 60 years and some who have never played.
“People like quirky things, it catches people’s imagination. And what other world championships can you just turn up to and play?
A total of 19 teams made up of six players from as far afield as the US and Algeria played outside the Greyhound Pub, at Tinsley Green, near Crawley, West Sussex.
Just wondering if Rey was there in the stands.