Now for something completely different

Written by DrunkEagle

Hello all you shnards, Lopps, cunts, nublets and village idiots! welcome to my version of the times. I am by no means a professional, and have some huge shoes to fill with joey taking a break. I'd like to give a big shout out to Joey, doing the times is alot harder than one would think. I wonder if I will end up getting censored like Steve. Mike definitely did not respect the beak...

I hope to get Cinna in here to do his bark box, provide some awesome recipes, do some interviews, and opinion pieces.

I would also love it if a few of you gangsters would take pictures of yourselves around your city holding a sign with something about GN. It could say Wayne is an idiot or Wally is a closet catamite, or GN Rocks my socks... whatever, as long as its GN related, I will post it. Don't be shit cunts, do some awesome pics and I will get em to print.

Also, I am going to do a few polls. to participate is simple. inbox me with your vote. if you don't vote, don't bitch. I might even send out random prizes. Prizes may include a box of Red Lobster cheddar bay biscuit mix, Credits, Pics of my testies, and the grand prize, a grape Fanta.

Now read on, Zluts.

Interview with Stuman

Written by DrunkEagle

Bunker-
for starters, how old are you? what area are you from? how long have you been playing gn?

Stumanlivo-
i am 28 years old im from down south england and roughly 11 years on and off.

Bunker-
favorite gangster flick?

Stumanlivo-
tie between casino and goodfellas

Bunker-
good choices. any new feature youd really like to see on gn?

Stumanlivo-
id like to see more to do family wise in the game like money laundering or family crime make it so familys are carefully picked rather than ohhh that guy has no family invite

Bunker-
fucking great answer mate. Favorite player on GN? any player you wouldn't piss on if they were on fire?

Stumanlivo-
zeus because he taught me to play back in the day lol wayneomighty doesnt shut up gives paracetamol a headache

Bunker-
yeah wayne is pretty much the village idiot. anything youd like to say to the GN masses?

Stumanlivo-
sure hiring new sandwich maker since hulmey retired interviews via my PM

Bunker-
much thanks for taking the time to do this. it is appreciated.


Stumanlivo
any time

Interview with Chance

Written by DrunkEagle

Bunker-
Ive known you for a long time on this game. is their any round/year that really sticks out in your mind as being the best on GN? what was different about that time?

Chance-
No year will ever be better than the first ever few rounds. I've hardly played any round since those days apart from Round 10. That was an OK round apart from the usual group of people bending everyone else right over the table and giving 'em a good fisting. A lot needs to change on this game for there to be rounds to remember again. Or at least some hot bitch that'll send me pics of her legs and doesn't mind my lobsters.

Bunker-
any player this round youd like to see die in a wallmart fire?

Chance-
OmieDaHomie, for asking for a picture of 'Christ the Redeemer' statue surrounded by death and blood. And disrespecting my lobsters on many occasions.

Bunker-
if you were to empty your pockets right now, what would be in them?

Chance-
A bit of fluff, a phone, a few wrappers from some kinder chocolates, a toy cube with animals on, a bolt I found but dunno what it fell off so i'm holding it for a bit just incase my computer chair snaps in half whilst i'm sat on it, and some crumbs

Bunker-
Cigarettes, Coffee or both?

Chance-
I gave up the cigs when my kid was born and just recently discovered 0 nicotine batty boy e-liquids so every morning now I enjoy a nice, strong, gonad clenching coffee with a gentle mouthful of watermelon vapour.

Bunker-
No vodka, no cigs... wtf is this world coming to?

Chance-
I know haha. Last time I touched it, it fuckin' hammered me, but I think that was because i'd not touched alcohol for around 2 years, and I stupidly went out after being awake around 30 hours with next to no food. Did the same thing when I got to Notts last weekend, except I ate a lot of food that day and managed to drink as much as I used to, on very little sleep again. Somehow managed to keep a straight head and wake up with almost no hangover too. So now I feel safe to drink it again :joy:

Bunker-
thanks very much for doing the interview... even if you do vape, I'm still glad to know you.

Chance-
:joy: I miss smoking. But I just can't handle not being able to walk up the stairs at my workplace without wanting to collapse at the top anymore

Cook Bish!

Written by DrunkEagle

ok shnards, I'm going to teach you some shit right here...
how to grill Tritip, asparagus and baked potatoes like a pro
for this you will need:
1 tri tip roast- about 2.5 pounds to 3.5 pounds
4 potatoes
1 bunch of asparagus
Worcestershire sauce
Soy sauce
Pink Himalayan salt
Malbec ground pepper
butter (melted)
olive oil
paprika
mesquite seasoning
dried onion flake
garlic salt
chili powder
Italian seasoning
aluminum foil
a big bottle of whiskey

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cut the white ends off the bottom of the asparagus. wash. place in gallon ziplock bag.
add in 1 tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce, 4 table spoons of soy sauce, 3 tablespoons water, three shakes of dried onion flake, 2 shakes of malbec pepper.
close bag, shake. stick in the fridge. take a drink of whiskey

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Wash your potatoes. place on a square of aluminum foil. coat with melted butter. shake on a healthy amount of garlic salt, dried onion, Italian seasoning and malbec pepper. flip potato. repeat. before closing aluminum foil around the potato, add a trickle of water. take a drink of whiskey.

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take your tri tip and coat lightly with a bit of melted butter and olive oil. take a big drink of whiskey. prepare to get your hands messy. coat tritip on both sides with pink salt, chili powder, mesquite seasoning, paprika and malbec pepper. massage the seasonings into the meat. let the meat sit covered at least 30 mins at room temperature before puttting on the grill. take another big drink of whiskey.

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remove asparagus from fridge. shake the bag well. pour contents into aluminum foil. wrap tightly. shake well. take another huge drink of whiskey.

at this point, its time to light your coals. they will take about 30 mins to get to propper temperature. take another drink of whiskey.

when your coals are ready, first place the potatoes on the outside rim of the grill. these will cook for 20 mins before you even think of throwing the tri tip on. flip every ten minutes.

when you put your tri tip on, you will first cook it for ten minutes a side on the outside edge of the grill... this is called off direct heat cooking. when each side has had 10 minutes put the tri tip in the center of the grill. this is when you put the asparagus on the off heat grill area. flip both the tri tip and asparagus every five minutes. remove tri tip from grill. place in a hot safe container, cover with aluminum foil. let sit for ten minutes. move the asparagus to direct heat cooking area for ten minutes, flipping every five mins. remove everything from the grill. unwrap potatoes and asparagus.
to slice your tri tip, always go across the grain of the meat.

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your finished product should look like this. have a drink of whiskey. enjoy.

Note: this tri tip will be medium rare. if you like your meat well done, just become a vegan, because no one likes you anyways.

shout outs sent to joey jay

Written by JoeyJay

oxoMARSoxo
I do love alienqueen
oxoMARSoxo
shout out would : Toby says Shanti is lovely ❤ ❤ She makes me smile

Lucillle
To Rosebella for being my favourite murderer

CactusJack
Hey when you do the times I can you give me a shout out on there and say I bribed you for it
CactusJack has sent you $500, after the 10% fee you received $450. The following reference was given: "bribe money".

Bandida
I'd like a Times shout out to the ever delusional VVayne, king of anon bounties and rolled up booger balls eaten please.

oxoMARSoxo
SHOOT OUT to
QUEENJESSICA,
IF SHE WERE A REAL QUEEN,
I WOULD LIVE FIGHT AND DIE FOR HER
QUEENJESSICA IS THE MOST LOVELY AND RESPECTED WOMAN FROM WALES I KNOW
FROM TOBY WITH LOVE

Shotouts sent to Mick

Written by DrunkEagle

Finally- Shoutout to me for being amazing

An Anonymous person -Petal, you are a ray of sunshine.

Bunker- Shoutout to Wally for meeting Chris Hansen