Welcome to the Pachino Times

Written by Pachino

Hello everyone and welcome to my first ever issue of The Times, i would like to thank everyone that voted for me! I really appreciate it!
And just to leave it clear, no i'm not addicted to cocaine.

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For those that want to contribute to the times please feel free to message me.

Cinna's Bark Box

Written by Pupicorn

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Hey everyone. I’m back this week because I’m the only thing that makes the times worth reading, my section anyway.

Everything has still been boring. No excitement. No pawty. Tom did pay me for my mentor, so that was pretty cool. Anyways, here's some irrelevant info.

In the midst of her family being at war and being dropped by Panthers, Neptunes from Noobville decided to let her fam figure it out on their own so she could enter narcotics anonymous to attempt to drop the painkillers. She managed to drop a few of the pill bottles, but ended up dying in the fight. God, please grant her the serenity.

Ballout still currently hates everyone and wants to carry out assassination plans on most of GN. He is currently looking for minions to help him, because his dupes keep getting admin killed. Thats ruff.

Itamar has come to play after day 90 and has to decided to just shut up and rank so that he can maybe collect 100k in bullets for the first time in his gn career. Saving all his creds instead of buying bulk..cause yanno..they carry over right?

Azy has been playing 20 hours a day trying to rank, even though it is day 96. If anyone wants to help her with friends..a job.. or a life, feel free to pm her...Seriously. She has been doing this for over three months straight...Help her.
Included below is a picture of her in a rare moment of her leaving her trailer to embrace the outdoors (and also to smoke a pack). Pm her if you want to tap that.

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Also, Hypno stated in his section to beware of Rob in upcoming rounds, and I must put my paw down on this one. This is incorrect information, the Russians must have hacked his section and added that one. You do not need to beware, he is most honorable. You know you want to be a puppet, you have stuff shoved up your ass already anyway, so you're half way there.

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The Gangland

Written by Pachino

The gangland streets we all know have been quiet, as we get closer to deathmatch nothing besides the usual daily occurrences like random killings, drug deals and gambling have been happening.

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Members of small time gangster families and a few unknown gangsters have been found dead, the police found a car filled with bullet holes and the gangsters dead inside. One police officer commented "we do not think this is related to any big time crime, the people we found in the car are small time criminals". The police thinks the murders are related to a trigger happy gangster.

Nothing unsual, just another normal day in the gangland.

AZYS BASEMENT

Written by oYANGo

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Welcome to Azys Basement, For those of you who don't know me i'm AZY and its impossible you don't know me, Fuck off ..

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THE ABYSS

Into the Abyss of what has actually been going on in GN lately!!!

Not Much Really.
A bunch of Shit Chatting, and a few irrelevant fam drops. People Crying Over Pixels/points on an account. A couple EMO Suicides here and there. A lot of people speculating on a few high level admin kills can't really go into detail on that..Though i have recently learned my fam is known as the period fam. People please enlighten me on what period fam is xD.

P.S i am glad to have met all the new friends i have, i hope you don't mind a bit of torture.

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RACING RAGE

I am a well-known Race whore, so if anyone would like to race weekly always willing and ready. PM me we can set a wager and rules.

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SEX SHOP

AZYS sex shop had held a biggest D contest , and it is now known most contestants had used Photoshop to make themselves look larger, looks like Austin wins by default.

im also looking for investors on my new sushi Strapons, they are 100% edible , they look taste and feel like sushi, Who doesnt want to taste raw fish when they go down, big money there.

We are also now in the business of human trafficking, and now selling helt more wrinkles for your buck, I will patiently await your bids, all benefits will go to GN retard awareness.

We are also working on new D rings for all the men and trannies out there they're also edible, they look taste and feel just like onion rings.Shell never know you forgot to wash.

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FUN FACTS

In some places who knew helt meant hero ;) we all love you ,you big wrinkly rage monster.

who knew panthers were dominant and at the top of the food chain i always thought they were cute and adorable. to bad there were no adult male alligators in sesame street their only real predators, P.S Isaac you still owe child support pay up.

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CREEPY THINGS

Cinnas sexual animal perversion is kind of getting out of hand. Never knew people had more awkward fetishes than me.

Axeident, can be any one he chooses to be if he thinks he is that person. I wonder if hell be male or female next aka, Also curious to see the new details of himself.

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SHOUT OUTS

1. Want To Shout Out Pachino For Letting Me Contribute TY <3

2. Want To Shout Out My Loving GF Bunneh / oYINo , For Always Sticking By Me Even Though I Am A Massive Cunt.

3. Want To Shout Out My Friends And Fam for Always being There for Me , Love You Period Fam.

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LEAVING THE ABYSS

TY All FOR READING AZYS BASEMENT IF YOU GOT OFFENDED AND CANT TAKE A JOKE TO BAD, HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR..

Enjoy The Rest of the round, I know its coming to a close but love you all have fun, And remember its just a game.

LOVE AZY

Police Baffled Over Recent Suicides

Written by PeaNutZ

Police in New York are baffled over the all time high of suicides in the Gangster Underworld. Police are saying they have never seen anything like this before and are linking the deaths to gambling debts. Although one source who wants to remain anonymous says he has proof that one gangster started the craze and is now helping others to do the same, when asked about this gangster's name he said "he goes by different names Ballout, Brolly, BraveSteve and who knows what his name is now". Going by this information Police launched a city wide search but sadly drew a blank as to his whereabouts.

Police are now asking for help in their investigation as so far they have been unable to find him, One top police officer did say "every time we think we know who he is, he disapeares and the trail goes cold". Earlier this week the police did arrest one suspect but the only thing he said was "I just tried committing suicide today, I am never doing that again, it almost killed me", feeling sorry for the broke tramp they released him. Police are now asking for help in tracking down the suspect named Ballout before he can assist in anymore suicides.


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Banter with Hypn0

Written by RAZ0R


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First of all, thanks Pachino for letting me get in on this editors panel!
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I'd like to start off by showing you all, the cat that Cinna cant seem to catch.
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Also Cinna, I do not want to be a puppet. Nor do I have anything shoved in my ass. However.. it is very probable that the Russians have hacked our system. Maybe Rob is honorable to his team, but if you aren't with him... He WILL scam you!
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BEWARE OF SNAKES!
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They are everywhere! Always use the Auction House when buying or selling goods. As we come into a new round steer clear of Rob (FatherMoose, TomBrady, Zapados), Danny (Ballout, or any DBZ character), Benny (the baboon) Isaac, and Tery (Teryiakis, any annoying ass name, or anything to do with Tupac).
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I would like to introduce everyone to Danielle aka Dora aka Redeyes
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She can be positively identified with fuzzy, cum stained, dirty socks on.
Who knew we had a celebrity on our hands?
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Attention ALL TAX PAYERS IN THE UK!
Gangster Disciples would like to thank each and every one of you for paying your taxes each year so they can stay home and play GN!
They've also asked me to add their family photo for them..
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Looking for a girlfriend? Look no further. Beth aka LadyPurr is looking for a life partner. Shes even willing to fly you out to her place so y'all can live happily ever after.
You can find her somewhere in PanthersElite. Happy hunting!

NOW REMEMBER, ITS JUST BANTER!!!

The Drug Dealers

Written by PeaNutZ

Two drug dealers are arrested and appear before a judge for trial. Both men are convicted, but the judge agrees to suspend their sentences, if as a community service, they agree to speak to youngsters and successfully steer them away from drugs.

They both accept this and report back to the judge one week later.

The judge asks the first man, "How successful were you getting kids off drugs?"

The first man replies, "I did very well. I stopped 36 kids from doing drugs, your honour!"

"That's great," replied the judge, "How did you manage to do that?"

"Well," replied the first man, "I drew two circles, one big and one little. I pointed to the big one and said, 'this is your brain before drugs!' then I pointed to the little one and said, 'This is your brain after drugs'"

"Well," said the judge, "It's simple but effective!"

The judge then asks the second man how he did.

The second man says, "I got 100 kids off drugs, your honour!"

"Really?" said the judge, "That is amazing, how did you do it?"

"Well," said the second guy, "I drew two circles, just like he did but I pointed at the small circle first and said, 'This is your a**hole before you go into prison...'