Le Times - Christmas Edition

Written by Decay

Hi guys! It's my first time as The Times editor and I'd like to thank you all for choosing me !! (over 120 votes, wow!)

I've chosen a very nice set of contributors for this issue! Unfortunately we can't count with Cinna's Bark Box this time because someone pooped in it. I think it was a rabbit...

So before we get this started and in a personal note, I'd like to thank to all of my GN friends just for being nice, and to my in-game family FOE, for sticking together no matter what! Love you guys!!

I have a word for the haters too. Whatever you decide to do, say or think ... keep it in the freaking game ... never go full retard ... And Merry Christmas... (hope you all get coal in your socks)

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The News

Written by Decay


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After leaving Anarchy for yet to know reasons, Ballout convinced a crowd of random people to shoot on the family leaving them crippled to a point of no return.
This proves one more time that GN is just like what Azy says: "It's not about what you're packing, it's what you do with your tongue that matters!"

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Austin ran over a moose with his car. The authorities that were called to the spot reported that Austin was under heavy influence of narcotics and that was the cause of the accident. When asked Austin said in his defense that it had nothing to do with drugs, he just froze when he saw that the moose was holding an AK-47... which didn't help his case.

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In an organized sneak attack, BlackPearl shot down FOE members when they were recovering from Anarchy attacks. The reasons of such a big scale assault are unknown, but maybe that's just what pirates do.

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In reply to the attacks against Soul Asylum, DaddyEagle was killed by Jennifer marking the end of the family Anarchy.

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After intense searches our rescue team finally found our dear friend Dylan!
Dylan was found in a far away land named "Westeros", and by the looks of it he's doing fine!

AZYS CORNER

Written by Shibari

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Welcome to my corner, this is my meeting, first off id like to say my name is AZY and I am a sex addict j/k, am an alcoholic or maybe both. enough with introductions, but before I start would like to thank my wife Bunneh for being the greatest person in the world to me, Love You, You Naughty Bish.

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I have recently held a biggest D contest, I have discovered nothing, in dealing with all contestants I can not figure out which sexual genitalia anyone has for a fact, For instance, I had recently learned a few friends of mine may have both, sexy right.

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In other news I was searching for the player of the round, I came up empty, most people interviewed could barely get 1 woman or man let alone be a player.

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The question of the day, what's wet, looks like 50, and smells like vodka, all should ask Rob he seems to be the only one to think he knows the answer.

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Before I end this section I have a few shout outs and questions for other players.

1. Cinna/Pork chop, what gender are you really, if your seriously a tranny that's hot.
2. I'd like to say Helt has the wrinkliest D in the world, love you anyway <3. PS. He's also the best grandpa ever.
3. Bree, can you become 18 already ffs ?
4. Steve, Does that Beak come in any other sizes? You are looking kind of small these days.
5. I'd like to shout out to mike for ruining BR's. Though he's still amazing thanks for giving me this amazing game to occupy my time.
6. I'd also like to shout to monkey for having an ever soft banana, might want to get that checked out.
7. To all GN players hating on anime and hentai, I hope you die from very slow and painful anal.
8. Caboose we have all decided to pitch in to get you a life sized blow up doll for Christmas, your welcome.

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Now for a fun fact, In Japan, there are lifelike sex robots who look, act and feel just like a normal woman would, for all of us nerds this is the place to go.

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I want, to sum up, this session by saying ty all for giving me an enjoyable game to play, and making it interesting. No matter if i dislike you or love you were all human, and we all make this community. I hope you enjoy the rest of your round. If You didn't like my section you can choke on my StrapOn love AZY.

Final joke what's finely tanned, moist, big, and filled with sticky cream? ...... MrsClaus's cookies obviously you perverts.

Remember Santa is cumming, lets all hope for a white Christmas.

Book Store

Written by Decay

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The Love Children

Written by MurphySaint

Hi guys, Caboose here and i have the hottest scoop for your soulless bodies. After The triangle couple Helt, Azy and Bunneh have given birth to two pale and cringy baby boys a few rounds ago. The year old baby twins Tom and Dave were born round 9. Unfortunately The two babies have a rare case of Memeitis, they rely on Meme’s as a primary food source because their deformed bodies cannot take in any real food. They seem to only to ropes, chains, hand cuffs and in a billy club; no doubt due to the couple's heavy addiction to BDSM. As the once “Golden Meme’s” have been successfully spread throughout the world due worldstar and vine they are becoming stailer by the day. Let’s just hope some of those Election meme’s last them the winter.

Caboose's Cabinet

Written by MurphySaint

Hi guys, Caboose aka the "Jesus Christ of Meme's" here and i would like to tell you all semi-offensive jokes.

1. A black guy, a Mexican, and a racist enter a magic shop. The black guy rubs a lamp and a Genie pops out. He says "i'll give you each 1 wish" so the Black guy asks for all black people to be happy in Africa, and the Mexican asks for all the Mexicans to be happy in Mexico, the Genie grants their wishes and asks the racist for a wish, he replies with "well if the Mexicans and black people are out of the states than i guess i'll have a coke".

2. Did you hear the new Helen Keller joke? Neither did she.

3 .I was gonna make a joke about Hillary but it was trash and i put it next to her emails.

4. Whats white, rich and delicious?
A. Donald Trump being eaten by a cannibal

5. .Whats Red, Corrupt, underdeveloped, and Americans hate it?
A. Communism

6. Who has more Chin's than a Chinese phone book?
A. our lead editor

7. What do you get when you mix a eagle with a dog that can turn into a pig?
A. A eagle that only gets shit done when he turns into a unicorn.

8. Who's from the south, got held back, and is currently hiding?
A. Tery

9. Who's flat, smells like smoke and alcohol, and can't take their eyes away from the screen? A. Azy

------------------------------------Shout Out's----------------------------------------------
1. Shout out to Azy; Who is obsessed with finding the biggest dick that isn't mine.
2. Shout out to Austin, who has a degree in cuntinomics
3.Shout out to Ryan, the greedy bastard that only sent respect and a thankyou in exchange for a Lexus LFA.
4. Shout out to Anomaly for being a cunt
5. Shout out ti helt for hooking me up with this roasting gig.
6. Shout out to blues clues for looking for those clues.
7. Shout out to my boy staling for making Russia a nuclear power.
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Dedicate a video

Written by Decay


இڿڰۣ-ڰۣ— From Helt, in memory of Monk3y, killed day 45. இڿڰۣ-ڰۣ—

May your name be remembered in the history of the great apes. If Harambe made it there, so can you.


Xmas Jokes #18+

Written by Flammable

A multi-national company held a reception to celebrate Christmas. The waiter gave each guest a glass of champagne, but on inspection, each guest noticed that their glass contained a fly.

The Swede asked for new champagne in the same glass.
The Englishman demanded to have new champagne in a new glass.
The Finn picked out the fly out and drank the champagne.
The Russian drank the champagne, fly and all.
The Chinese ate the fly but left the champagne.
The Israeli caught the fly and sold it to the Chinese.
The Italian drank two thirds of the champagne and then demanded to have a new glass.
The Norwegian took the fly and went off to fish.
The Irishman ground the fly and mixed it in the champagne, which he then donated to the Englishman
The American sued the restaurant and claimed $50 million in compensation.
The Scotsman grabbed the fly by the throat and shouted, 'Now spit out all that you swallowed.'



-Why do elves laugh when they run??
Because the snow tickles their balls.

-Why is Santa always so jolly??
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

-What do the Pope and Christmas tree have in common??
The balls are just for decoration.

-If your left leg was thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I come visit you between the holidays?

-I remember 1 year ago, lying in bed waiting for Santa to come... Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left.

- What do you call a can wearing a Christmas hat? A Merry Can (American)

-How does a Jew celebrate Christmas?He installs a parking meter on the roof.


-Santa Claus makes his way down the chimney, and is met by a lovely young woman in a robe.
She says, “Santa, how about giving me a special present. I know you’d like to come into my bedroom.”
Santa responds, “Ho! Ho! Ho! Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta deliver all these toys to the children you know.”
The lovely young thing peels off her robe, revealing a skimpy negligee. Santa looks up from his sack of gifts, and she says, “I’ve got something special for you Santa. Can’t you stay for just a little while? I know you want me. Let me make this Christmas eve unforgettable.”
Santa responds, “Ho! Ho! Ho! Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta deliver all these toys to the children you know.”
Not to be denied, she strips off the negligee, revealing her naughty bits, and they were quite nice naughty bits, I might add. And she says, “Santa, this is your last chance. This body is your gift.”
Santa responds “Hey! Hey! Hey! Gotta stay. Gotta Stay. Can’t get up the chimney with my c*ck this way!!!”

Recent Lotto Winners

Written by Decay

Cash
littleturtle - $46.3m - <1%
diablo363 - $151m - 26%
Rock - $63.6m - < 1%
guardzack - $56.3m - 1%
IceMafia - $36m - 3%
Nathioni - $19.1m - 7%
===========================
Bullets

LetterZ - 286k - 3 %
diablo363 - 390k - 1%
TwisT - 423k - 9%
BigByrd - 341k - < 1%
TeaWrecks - 444k - 3%