Squad

Written by pup

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Hey people of GN! We've got a whole squad of contributors this time, because I like to PAWn my work off on others. And as much as I know all of you love to just sit there and read what I have to say the entire time, it is nice to add some diversity. In this issue we have myself, JoeyJay, SpankMy (Monkey), and Jamal because he begged and I can't say no without being deemed a possible racist.

This great group of people have come together to give you a pretty dang cool Times Issue. Vote to keep me as your times editor, and I will continue to try to get a group of people writing and contributing. Let me know what you want to see.

Cinna's Bark Box

Written by pup

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Hey everyone and welcome back to Cinna’s Bark Box! It has been pretty boring these past few days; a few suicides, and a few minor kills that nobody cares about. Well, I don’t care about. It has been a pretty weak round so lets see if you guys can change that in the last couple weeks!

There were a few shootings since the last issue that all began with the cash lotto. Distruzione won the cash lotto. Redef wanted that money, so he decided it was time to kill Distruzione and take the money. Once the money was securely in his possession, Redef ran back to his friend TeaRekts and they celebrated. However, MiniSteve crashed the pawty and killed them both, one shot each. So much for those bullet lottos they won helping them. xAlReadyDead heard the gunshots and ran to check on his friends. As he reached them and dropped to his knees in pure distress, MiniSteve killed him from behind. MiniSteve then ran to escape the building, when bullets began flying passed him. He turned to see DemonCilok shooting at him, and quickly shot back, killing his attacker. MiniSteve made his getaway, and returned home to brag about his accomplishments, but nobody cared. He shed some tears and returned to the streets, upset that nobody would listen to him. It was here that he was hit by a hooded figure and killed.
Lobos decided to kill Jade, and then go for Tepii. He/She/It/AllOfTheAbove, killed both Lobos and Stronghammer in backfire.

In other news, this is the 169th issue, so get your 69 on. Dylan, keep this is mind. Start choosing this position, we need some population control. ShadyAngel had married Dylan, but she is now cheating on him so would really like some D from other men. It has been confirmed that Dylan is NOT the father of ShadyAngel's children. Ruh Roh.

Lenny has been back to fill chat with his normal stupidity. I can feel my IQ dropping steadily as he is with us. With more and more impaired individuals in chat these days, he is actually starting to fit in. These are some ruff times. If we could all just be normal, that'd be great. Im sure they sell books on it or something. If you're here I'm assuming you can read, unless you just came for the pictures. I would not blame you for that.

For your general information, for those of you that share way too much in chat, you know who you are. None of us care about your personal information in main. We will just use it to make fun of you for the rest of your time here. You don't go up to random people and tell them about your life. If you do, it probably means you got away from your mental health aid too long. No one wants to know. Also, if you're annoying, it is safe to assume no one likes you. So don't be annoying and maybe we can get along.

Anyways, this issue is long enough as it is and I hate long things. Heh. So, vote for me, Pup/Cinna as your times editor. Then you get to enjoy me every week, and who doesn't want that?

Have a pawwwfect day/night/life/whenever.

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JoeyJays Joke of the Day

Written by JoeyJay

Hi all and welcome to JoeyJays Joke of the day! Starring Antmar, Icey and Rob.

The year is 2035 and Gn is in round 259. Some have come and gone, but Antmar has been here since round 6. So, the GNsville Tax office decides to audit Antmar, an old Gangster, and summons him to their office. Rob the tax man was not surprised when Antmar showed up with his solicitor Icey.
Rob tax man said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure we find that believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Antmar. 'How about a demonstration?'
Rob the tax man thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
Antmar says, 'I'll bet you a thousand Dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
Rob the tax man thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
Antmar removes his glass eye and bites it. Rob the tax man's jaw drops.
Antmar says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'
Now Rob the tax man can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Antmar removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned tax man now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Antmar's solicitor as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?' Antmar asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'
Rob the tax man, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Antmar stands beside the desk and unzips his fly, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the tax man's desk.
Rob the tax man leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Antmar's solicitor Icey moans and puts her head in her hands.
'Are you okay?' Rob the tax man asks.
'Not really,' says Icey. 'This morning, when Antmar told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and you'd be happy about it.'

Monk3y Bizn3ss

Written by SpankMy

Hello everyone and welcome to the very first issue of Monk3y Bizn3ss! I will be working closely with whoever gets voted as the Times Editor on a weekly basis. I would like to start off by thanking the pig/pup for the opportunity to host my own section in the times. So anyways, I will be conducting interviews every week with random players across GN in an effort to harass and embarrass any and all of you. If you receive a message from me regarding an interview, and you do not wish to participate, feel free to ignore me or submit a Help Request if it becomes excessive ?

On to the good stuff...

Flippin the Bird

Written by SpankMy

SpankMy
Wut made u decide to shoot FOE members?

Koolin
it was either them or shoot members of westside

SpankMy
Any peticular reason?

Koolin
Not really just me trying to cause trouble

SpankMy
Are you black or white?

Koolin
I am black

SpankMy
Male or female?

Koolin
male

SpankMy
Any history of mental illness?

Koolin
none that come to mind

SpankMy
Coke or pepsi?

Koolin
coke along with mentos

SpankMy
Interesting choice

SpankMy
Yogurt or mayonaise?

Koolin
mayonnaise

SpankMy
Rob or Steve?

Koolin
it has to be steve init

SpankMy
There we have it

Koolin
sorry rob

Conclusion:
black male / causes trouble / enjoys coke, mentos, and Steve's mayonaise.

A Style Thats Quite...Fetching

Written by pup

There is a trend that is taking over GN by storm, and Entropy has decided that it is about time we all give it the recognition it deserves. It has been around for quite some time now, but seems to be popping up for a second round of fame. It's hip, it's hot, it's pawfect. It's the asshat.

When describing this trend, Entropy explains, "One who has their head up their ass. Thus wearing their ass as a hat. Asshat."

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The only way to spice up your bald spot (Monkey) or bad dye job (Dolly). Put on your Asshat. It appears that this trend has really hit it off with popularity, which makes sense. Might as well make it a trend since most of you have your heads shoved up your asses anyway.

Shout outs of the week

Written by Koolin

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The first shout out is from Ajax as he would like to make a shout out to Tim for dying an innocent man.

Langerzz would like to shout out Caboose for being a bellend. (Which i totally agree with) He would also like to shout out everyone in Majestic and would like to apologize for closing the fam.

Aine would like to shout out that she would like to beg Cinna to destroy her ass (Standard).

Che would like to shoutout to all of GN to kindly ask you all to NOT bust him out of jail. Yep, that's right, don't do it.

The final shout out is from Mick (Drunkie) and he would like to shout out killer36 for dying to 4k bullets after killing one of his members.

Riddles!

Written by pup

PM Cinna with what you think the answers are to these riddles. You could be featured in the next issue!

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1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

2. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard. What am I?

3.The warden of the GN State Penitentiary decides to have some fun one day... he decides he will give three prisoners a chance to go free... but only if they can prove themselves worthy of being released! He grabs Davie, Jamal, and Caboose.

The warden brings out five hats, three of them red and two of them blue. The three prisoners are then blindfolded and one of the hats, at random, is placed on each of their heads.

He lines up each prisoner in a row, facing a brick wall. The blindfolds are then removed. Caboose can see both Davie and Jamal and the color hats that each of them is wearing. Jamal can only see Davie and his hat. Davie, being in the front, cannot see any hats. And no prisoner can, of course, see the color of his own hat.

The question the warder presents to the prisoners is simple:
"If you can determine the color of the hat on your own head, I will release you from this prison. If you answer incorrectly, I will add another 20 years to your sentence! However, if you do not know and choose not to answer at all, nothing will come of it."

He first asks Caboose, "What is the color of the hat on your head?" Caboose thinks for a short while and then replies, "I'm sorry, I do not know."

He then asks Jamal, "What is the color of the hat on your head?" Jamal thinks for a short while and then also replies, "I'm sorry, I do not know."

He finally asks Davie, "What is the color of the hat on your head?" Davie thinks for a short while and then replies, "I know! The color of my hat is...."

What color hat is Davie wearing and how did he know?

Jamal's little chat

Written by Koolin

In this little article i will be talking about random things of people choices but as this is my first little chat i will just talk about random things.

My first topic is about the fight Between Caboose and Austin as it seems to be something mentioned quite a bit. I would hate to take a side in this fight (As they are both shit) I had time to get an interview with Austin and he had a few interesting things to say.
Koolin
Before i start may i ask how are you today?
Goodnight1
Good how about u?
Koolin
I am great thanks, My first question is how did this whole fight between you two start?
Goodnight1
Well tbh wen he was in my fam and he started turning against us is about it then just as he said i needed to be fed to kill him witch we all kno is not needed.
Koolin
Okay, my second question is how confident are you about this?
Goodnight1
I mean as long as he is not fed by ppl who dont like me il be fine.
Goodnight1
But i cant prove that so...
Koolin
Okay and for my final question is there anything you want to caboose to see as he is reading this?
Goodnight1
Yea
Koolin
What may that be?
Goodnight1
Tell him i said good luck and one day il let him kill me hahahaha. It's all fun tbh end of round.
Koolin
Will do, Thanks for your time.
Goodnight1
Np

*Side Note*
If anyone is willing to bet on this pm me your bets. My bet to everyone (That is willing to bet) is 25k bullets on Austin winning.

So until my next little chat (Who knows when that will be) I would like to say i hope you all have a great day and leave suggestions for another topic soon.

Paw-sitively Funny

Written by pup

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Thanks For Reading!

Written by pup

That wraps it up for this issue of the GN Times. I hope you all enjoyed. Let me know what you liked in this issue, and if you didn't like it, then something is wrong with you and you need to seek help.

If you have anything you would like to see in the next issue, send me a message and I will definitely take your idea into consideration!

Remember to send me what you think are the answers to the riddles, and then keep an eye out for the next issue to be published.

Thank you all for voting for me this week, and I would appreciate it if you continue to vote for me. Who doesn't like a pawpularity contest. Vote for the pup. Aka Cinna. Aka whatever my name is that week.

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