Sports Illustrated issue

Written by Joey

Hello and welcome to
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Unfortunately due to Technical difficulties no GNTV is available at the moment but hopefully normal service will resume soonest, thank you for your patience and don't forget to vote Joey for the Times as your Editor.

Teabaggers

Written by Joey

Hi all, It was not so long ago in the distant past (well a few days actually) That a rouge agent decided enough was enough and got a bit bored so went off on one with a loaded rifle and some hand grenades (sold to him by Helt so more than likely water balloons painted black).
I managed to Catch up with him not long before he himself was gunned down in the streets of Gnsville by Mim. And this is what he had to say on the matter in hand.

TeaBaggers

I have recently been getting really bored of the game because of the lack of shooting, so for the last week I've barely been playing, so I thought since I didn't wanna just waste all the time I'd spent on here I would shoot someone.
Fruitbat was rank 1 and boss of a fam, so I thought I'd shoot him. BillyC was underboss so I decided to shoot him too so I could drop them fam.
Also I wanted the accolades. I did all of this on my own without telling Helt or anyone else in the family.
So Helt said "It was against family rules young man, and not what we do so you have been a very, very bad boy" So asked me to leave.
Well then cos I was a bit annoyed and in the spur of the moment I stole the 90 mil in family bank and put a bounty on Helt, but tbh I kinda feel harsh about that so once I die I will come back just to stock and sell the bullets to repay the 90 mil.

Merton

The relatives of the recently murdered gangster billyc are planning on suing the crime family FOE for allowing their family bank to be emptied and funding the reckless small time thief teabags and his unlawful murders of billyc and fruitbat. Stay tuned for more exciting updates.

I do have it on Good authority that the above Civil lawsuit has recently been dropped and Merton is no longer wanting any compensation from the courts in the above matter.

GN Sports

Written by Joey

Hi All and let me introduce to Gangsternations very own Kevin Lerena other wise know as KOK1D.
He is currently 19 in the World Cruiserweight division, he had his first pro fight on 30th Nov 2011, and has a impressive record of 15 wins, with 8 KO's 1 lose 0 ko's Giving him his boxing nickname as The KO Kid.
He is a Southpaw (lefty for those who don't know boxing) from South Africa, And his next fight is on 22nd October against the rank 14 boxer from Denmark Micki Nielsen.




Joey
Hi JoeyJay Times Reporter: Hi Kevin your next fight is vs Micki Nielsen 22 October, So hows the preparations going so far?

KOK1D
Good thanks Joey, a lot of hard work, but all according to plan so far.

Joey
Your currently 15 and 1 with 8 Ko's hence the nickname, do you see this fight going the distance or gonna add another ko onto your stats?

KOK1D
Well Joey, to be honest i'll love to get another KO under my belt, but in this case I'll take a win, no matter how.

Joey
What helps you wind down after training and do you find playing Gangsternation helps you relax after a hard days Training?

KOK1D
Obviously with the kind of schedule I have, being around friends and family helps me to relax Joey and yes, believe it or not, Gansternation does its part as well.


Joey
Just for the Readers would you like to give a brief rundown of a normal daily routine for you,

KOK1D
I start off early Joey, I'm on the road at 5am doing anything between 10 and 15km, then I have either a gym or technique session at 1pm and then at 6pm I have either a sparring or technique session depending on what day it is.

Joey
Wow you had me worn out at the 10k bit, Thank you Kevin for your Time, i'm gonna leave it there for now and hopefully we will get another update real soon to see ow your training is going.

KOK1D
Thanks Joey, appreciate the time and you're always welcome. Hope everyone will be glued to their seats on 22 October and help me get over the line.

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Thank you KOK1D for the picture, you will have to do a quick Video for the next issue and give us a quick mention lol. keep up the training and good luck from us all.

Hot Chicks for the guys

Written by Joey

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Underground Reapers

Written by Joey

GNsville hosted its by weekly bowling league games this week and as usually absolutely noting went to plan.
The match up this week was between Undeground Hitmen I Vs Hellz Reapers.
First up to lane going Head to Head was Dora and Spursfan, And just as Spursfan was about to hit the perfect 300, Dora pulled out a silenced pistol and pop him right their on the lane Ball still attached to his 2 fingers and a thumb.
Unfortunately for Dora Registered spotted the smoking gun before she managed to put it away, and in the confusion of what happened and everyone gathered around the dead body on the lane, Registered slipped up behind Dora and Killed her before anyone even saw it.
A fight then broke out in the toilets between Volume from HR and UHI's MethodMan, no eye witnesses to what happened next, but Volume was found dead with his head down one of the pans believed to be drowned.
Underground's Boss Starstruck was then found dead with a single gunshot wound to the head, believed to be from the sniper rifle of Vortex.
Frenchy who was now the new Boss of UHI made MethodMan his Underboss for now, as his reign was soon to come to a messy end when he was killed Gangland style for all to see by Boss of Hellz Reaper's aspeedinbath.
MethodMan now The Boss of UHI decided enough was enough and the Bowling night was abandoned due to lack of Payers left, Underground Hitmen I was no more and they changed ther tag to majestic Peasents.

One for the Ladies

Written by Joey

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Why Teachers Drink

Written by Joey

Why Teachers Drink

The following questions were set in last Rounds Gangsternation Final Deathmatch entrance exam, These are Genuine answers from GNsville Gangsters!

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt,pepper, mustard and vinegar. ( Thank you CeCex for that one. )

Q. How is dew formed.
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. ( Tornado you must try harder)

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed. (not everything is about your manhood Ziidane)

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important.Sex can only happen when a male gets an election. ( Austin5133 stop copying from Ziidane )

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs ..( Roxyringpop Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. ( Not to everyone YANGIRE just you )

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. ( Again Ziidane always about sex )

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow. ( only in the southern states munchkins26 )

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow.( Simple, but brilliant Logic Akasha)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. ( your not quite right Unstable)

The brainium contains the brain,the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U

(wtf! Ok See me after ranking Class has finished )

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie. ( yes Tepii i'm sure your right )

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby. ( RemK0 is english your first language )

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

(That would work i guess rhymes89 )

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome. ( Hospital rang SmileyMan and your gonads have finally dropped )

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit) ( i found this one quite amusing BlackHornet )

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.( Irrefutable, Cannot argue with you on that one Sam )

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.( brilliant Bag can you do ABC's as well)

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head. Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.:)

Thank you all for reading

Written by Joey

Thank you all for reading the Times and hope you enjoyed this issue. if you have any new news or stories for me then please do PM me with them.
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Remember we will be watching you.
and don't forget to vote Joey as your Editor.
Many thanks Joey.