The Times is Back

Written by Joey

Hello and welcome to
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IT's Back

Written by Joey

Hi all ans welcome to the GangsterNation Times.
Some you of older players will have seen this before, but some of you new players may have not.

So for you newbies firstly welcome to the game, its been a while since i last did an issue of The Times and its real nice to be back writing again.
I know most or hopefully all of you have seen me doing GNTV, and in the next and future issues of The Times i will be adding a new episode of it to this newspaper hopefully at least once a week, unless we have some real action and i will add a special.

Also with this format it allows me to add pictures and as below write jokes. So as long as you want me to be your editor i will plan to do hopefully 3 issues per week full of made up stuff and anything else i spot, as i can now copy and paste stuff direct from chat ect.

As many of you have more than likely spotted withing the Times section you will notice you can vote for your Editor of The Times, so hopefully you will like what i do and keep me on as your Editor.

One last thing i can add Contributor's to The Times. This basically means you if i add you you can write your own story or pictures or what ever you want to waffle on about in. i can then edit this into the paper and publish it as a whole or part of the paper. So if you think you got what it takes to write something for GN to read then please ask me for further details on being one of my Contributor's.

Shock Therepy

Written by Joey

Little bit of news that has happened while writing this tonight, Shock Therepy has been closed down but Stronghammer, if anyone has any more new on this please do spill the beans.

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JoeyJays Joke of the Day

Written by Joey

Qtex'S FUNERAL

Qtex works hard at the Phone Company but spends
Two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.
His wife Dolly thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local Strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says,
"Hey, Qtex! How ya doing.?
Dolly is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh no," says Qtex. “ He’s in my Bowling League”.
When they are seated, a waitress asks Qtex If he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
Dolly is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.
I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Qtex, starts to rub herself all over him and says...
"Hi Qtex. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Dolly, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Qtex follows and spots her getting into a cab.
Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
Qtex tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else,
But Dolly is having none of it
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book...
The cabby turns around and says,
'Geez Qtex, you picked up a real bitch this time.'

QTEX'S FUNERAL WILL BE HELD
THIS COMING FRIDAY.

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Give them a mention

Written by Joey

From Annon
Wanna shout out 2 marc 4 being an awesome canadia
----------------------------------------------------------
Remko
News: im out of beer...
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Another from Annon
Oh I almost forgot... Request from terry... Will yu do a shout out to him caboose and Jamal..... The hash tag crew?!!?

Gangster Comic

Written by Joey

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Stars

Written by Joey

ARIES
You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less. You're the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding.
TAURUS
Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because you're bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of piss.
GEMINI
Your star sign denotes an air of duality in your character. Simply, you're a neurotic schizophrenic. A real fucking weirdo, the type of person who'd kill themself to win a bet.
CANCER
You have a businesslike attitude to life and a knack for making money. You're an unscrupulous bastard who would sell relative's limbs to buy a mobile phone. You are likely to be murdered.
LEO
The adventurous type, always looking for thrills and willing to try anything. In other words, stupid. You have the IQ of a garden snail and will never amount to anything. Most Leos are living on the welfare.
VIRGO
You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them. But you're prone to bullshitting and you're a cheap bastard. Virgo men are usually gay and the majority of Virgo women are whores.
LIBRA
You are the forgiving type and you don't bear grudges. This makes you an asshole. For your entire life people will make a complete prick out of you. Nobody will go to your funeral.
SCORPIO
You are sharp, a quick thinker and good at puzzles. However these are your only good traits. You screw small animals and love picking your nose. You always have snot on your clothes.
SAGITTARIUS
You are the romantic type, soft-hearted and a lover of the arts. You are likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. You thrive on incest.
CAPRICORN
You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. A mean self-centred cunt and a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an altar boy.
AQUARIUS
You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.
PISCES
You are the eternal optimist, seeing the best of any situation. You have no grasp of reality and live in a dream world. Most people consider you to be the greatest living moron. You will continually fail. You're a prick....:)

Advert

Written by Joey

If any of you are keen picture makers and would like to advertise your works on here, then please do make a small advert for your work with your details and prices ect. i will gladly add them on here for all to see.

Thank you for Reading

Written by Joey

Thank you all for reading the Times and hope you enjoyed this issue. if you have any new news or stories for me then please do PM me with them.
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Remember we will be watching you.
and don't forget to vote Joey as your Editor.
Many thanks Joey.