The New Times NewsPaper

Written by StylezZ

In today's news nothing has happened that is worth talking about so for today i will do a section for men and a section for women please enjoy and have a good day.

If any part of the times is fucked up then i am sorry for my first attempted at doing the times ?

Women's Section

Written by StylezZ


Pictures sent in by Kitty


Pictures sent in by Aurora


Men's Section

Written by StylezZ


Luke has a crush on me.

Written by Darren


The Evolution Strike Again

Written by StylezZ

So The Evolution Strike Again and to find out what has gone down we decided to ask our inside man this is what He/She had to say about it all.

Right so we wiped gangster squad cuz sammyy joined kokang killed ub biggiebiggie then pain put on his ninja kit n roled out n killd boss abair or w.E his nme is, The evolution strike again nd sammy has desperate attempts at stiring up shit by msgn dirk saying im going 2 shoot them but little does she knw me nd dirk go way bak so we both lol in her face now wat comes next time will tell.

we had to cut the interview short as someone down the road from where we was standing was shot and all hell was breaking loose we had to get out and dodge.

Who will shoot first lethalman or sam

Written by sammmmmyyyy

News just in, I have been told by a undercover reporter that there is trouble spreading downtown as sam is currently on the hunt for LeThalMaN's head but will he manage to escape this deadly womens grasp only time will tell so stay tuned people.

Competition; Kind of mind do you have?

Written by Versace



Written by iWHITEY

here's a few random tummy tickler's

A couple of terrorist were making letter bombs. After they had finished, one said: “Do you think I put enough explosive in this envelope? “I don’t know,” said the other. “Open it and see.” “But it will explode.” “Don’t be stupid! It’s not addressed to you!!!

The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

Times contributor ; iWHITEY!!