No wonder men are happier.
NICKNAMES - If Akasha, Carolina and Gemma go out for lunch, they will call
each other Akasha, Carolina and Gemma. If Joey, Erby and Smiffy go out, they
will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Baldy and Tosser.
EATING OUT - When the bill arrives, Joey, Erby and Smiffy will each throw
in a tenner, even though it's only for £25. None of them will have
anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY - A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs. A woman will pay £1
for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS - A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and
toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average
number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not
be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS - A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man
says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE p A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A
man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE - A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she
DRESSING UP - A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants,
empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man
will dress up for weddings and funerals.
> NATURAL - Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women
somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING - Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She
knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite
foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some
short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
> A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing!
Hi all and welcome to my bookmakers. Some of you will know how this works and some of you wont so this is a run down on how to make a bet with JoeyJay's.
Step 1, You send me a request to bet on what you want to bet on.(can be anything i can find the correct odds for, football is a favourite)
ie, Chelsea to beat Hull city 2-1
Step 2, i will check the odds ect and send these to you with the max bet i will accept on this(i have to make sure i can cover it)
ie, 10/1 max bet $50,000 potential return = $550,000
Step 3, You send me the cash to make your bet with a message saying what your bet is.
ie, Erby has sent you $50,000 cash (following a 10% tax deduction from $40,000).
The following reference was attached: Chelsea to beat Hull 2-1
Step 4, If your team wins send me a message and claim your winnings.
Terms and conditions
if you send me any money without first checking odds i will send you back your cash minus a small handling charge less tax.
please not the above example is just that an example
any winnings is only payable to the account that made the bet, so if you die tuff.
terms and conditions are subject to change as and when they need to
always read the small print
A well know Gangster in GNsville Payne bought himself a new BMW and was happily driving it down the the main GN strip when he thinks to himself, "I wonder how fast this thing will go." So he sticks his foot down, pulls up to over a hundred miles an hour and, before he knows it, he sees the blue lights flashing in his rear view mirror. Without thinking things through, he keeps his foot firmly on the floor thinking, "I can outrun him." After a few minutes, he comes to his senses and realises he isn't getting away from this, so Payne pulls over in a layby.
Cheif Wiggum gets out and walks over to the car. Payne winds his window down. wiggum says to him, "do you realise what the seriousness of what you just did is?"
Payne replies, "yes, Cheif, I do realise. I'm sorry."
So Wiggum turns to him and explains that today is his last day till he retires it's also fifteen minutes before the end of his last shift and so he really doesn't want to do more paperwork, so he says to Payne, "if you can think of a good excuse that I have never heard before, I will think about letting you go."
So Payne sit's and thinks for a minute and then says to Wiggum, "my wife left me this morning for a member of the CPD (crooked police dept). I was just afraid you were trying to give her back!"
Stunned Cheif Wiggum tuned away mutting, "have a nice day, sir."
[03:34:27 PM] <Infidel> Coz it was outstanding in its field
[03:34:19 PM] <Infidel> Why did the scarecrow get a promotion
[03:34:08 PM] <Infidel> its that shit its class
If you have any GN scandal or gossip Or anything you would like to announce in the times, or just have your say then please message me with your news.
The more info you guys give me the more i can talk and write about.
And if you like what you have seen then remember it will only get better so please vote for Joey as your editor
thanks for watching and reading.
and remember we're watching you